Beyond the Labels: The Experience of a Para-abled Artist

I’m aware that I have cerebral palsy, but that is not something that I focus on in my daily life. I don’t ignore it or try to pretend I don’t have it, but just because I don’t have braces or a walker every day doesn’t mean I ignore it. I have enough hardships in my life, and I’d like one aspect of my life to feel normal. I often feel that’s a misconception people have of me, and it has bothered me most of my life. I have experiences outside of my CP, and when people say these things, it feels like they are ignoring that part of me. 

This happened a lot to me in school. People would mimic how I walked and think it was funny to make fun of me. I would see everyone with their groups of friends at lunch and I would sit alone. It brought me to a very dark place and made me feel like everyone was just seeing my CP and not me as a whole individual. My experience of being judged in school has followed me my whole life, especially as I’ve pursued the arts.

As I’ve pursued music and musical theatre into adulthood, I’ve found myself once again being defined by my CP by others. In audition rooms, they don’t take me seriously and can be flat out rude about things out of my control. I understand that it’s a cut-throat industry, but that doesn’t excuse the ableism and rudeness I’ve experienced, including people saying I don’t have talent. I walk away very discouraged and the judgements of the people auditioning me stick with me. I feel I am not taken seriously in the industry because of my CP. I want to be treated like a musician/actor, not a musician/actor with CP, and I feel like I’m trying to do the impossible.

I may not be able to change the industry, but if I could teach people to be more compassionate, that would be great. Whether it’s me auditioning or someone with a completely different set of issues from me, if we can all be kinder, the industry and world would be a better place. I want people like me to be able to do whatever they want without the fear of being judged and shot down by others. To anyone who hasn’t felt seen or heard or talented enough to pursue the arts, I hope you know I see you, I hear you, and you matter. You should be able to pursue your dreams at your own pace without judgment or fear. We must be the change we want to see.